Help! I’m a mom!

Help Ik ben mama

If you just became a mother, a lot will come your way. First of all, you now suddenly have this little creature in your arms, which you have felt tramping, moving and growing in your belly for nine months. For some mothers this feels very unreal, right after child birth. In addition, you are tired of the birth and you have often not slept for two nights. Add to the above, raging hormones and all the new responsibilities you feel as a new mom and you’re in for a treat. It takes a lot of getting used to for many new mothers.. You all of sudden have the enormous responsibility for the care of your baby. Something, that gives many mothers a restless feeling and a lot of anxiety. Some mothers ask themselves daily: what if something happens to my child because of something I did? New mums also don’t always like motherhood in the beginning and sometimes that can last for months post partum. Because, they miss their old life, because they lost a part of who they used to be and have to reinvent themselves completely. Maybe you were a party girl and were used to be the last person to go home at parties. Now, all of a sudden you spend a lot of time at home with your baby. And no matter how much you love your child, you sometimes long to go back to the time when you went to parties and festivals and saw the sun rise together with your partner. The thing is, most mothers don’t speak about this in public, because they don’t want to seem ungrateful or even worse: like a bad mother.

Grieving proces

Becoming a mother is sometimes a grieving process. Because, as a new-born mother you mourn what once was, but what doesn’t come back. Not only your body changes after a pregnancy, your brain also changes. All of a sudden your whole being and daily activities revolve around the care of your little one. There is relatively little room for other things in your head or time for yourself. Not to mention, the ever lasting pregnancy brain. You have to find yourself again. Who am I, now that I have become a mother? This is what many new moms wonder. A lot of them find this complicated and that is very understandable, if you ask me. It also takes a lot of getting used to when you’ve just become a mother!

Life outside the womb

In addition to the fact that you have to get used to motherhood enormously, your baby also has to get used to life outside of the womb. First, he or she heard your breathing, heart rate and every sound 24/7. Now that is no longer the case and it takes some getting used to for your little one. In addition, here in the outside world, everything is very bright for the eyes of your newborn (compared to the darkness in your womb) and there are very loud noises that they have to get used to. Add that the intestinal cramps all newborns have and the pains they endure because some body parts got crammed during labor and you understand: a baby is not always comfortable in his or her own skin, after birth. Your baby just needs time to adapt to the new life on earth and that is perfectly normal. Logically, newborn babies cry a lot at the beginning during this whole process of getting used to. And the crying sound often takes it’s  toll on new mothers. Many clients tell me they can’t handle the crying anymore, because it enters their heart and mind so brutally. While their partners often just keep going with whatever they were doing and don’t find it as calling up on them, as it is for moms.

How do other mothers handle all of this?

When you first become a mother, you probably often wonder: how do other mothers handle all of  this? Are the things that go through my mind normal? Are they struggling too? The answer is: YES! These new moms ask themselves, is it ok to miss my old life sometimes? Or that I long for some alone time. Is that bad? NO! That is completely normal. Every woman is different and  one mother has more problems adjusting post partum, then other moms. Please, try to accept these thoughts and that you don’t always like being a mother. It is totally normal and nothing to feel ashamed about or feel guilty over. You are entitled to every thought or feeling you have. Face them and embrace them, dear mom!

I know how you are feeling!

Do you notice that motherhood is too much for you sometimes and that you sleep poorly (even when the baby is sleeping)? Do you notice that you feel depressed or anxious and that this feeling doesn’t go away? Do you experience feelings of disappointment about motherhood and that you feel guilty about this? Then please e-mail to info@froufroubegeleiding.nl. I know better than anyone how you feel right now. I felt just like that when I had just given birth. As an experience expert, I am going to help you, to get out of this, so that you can start to feel good about yourself and motherhood again. Together we will work on more confidence in your role as a mother and make sure you will sleep again.